Mindset Matters: A Conversation with 6X MIAA Champion and 4X COY Bryan Kelly, Part I.

In this episode of 'Get the Lax Scoop' podcast, hosts Big Dawg and Jaybird talk to Bryan Kelly, head coach of the boys varsity lacrosse team at Calvert Hall College High School and a former collegiate athlete and All American at the University of North Carolina. Coach Bryan shares memories of his early lacrosse days influenced by his brothers and coaches, his collegiate success, and his experiences on the U19 U.S.A. National Team. They explore his coaching philosophy centered on focusing on the process over the outcome and discuss the foundation of JML skills, mindset, and lacrosse IQ training. The episode also touches on how personal family dynamics and formative experiences shaped Bryan's lacrosse journey.

00:00 Introduction to Get the Lax Scoop

00:23 Meet the Hosts: Big Dog and Jaybird

01:29 Special Guest: Bryan Kelly's Impressive Background

03:11 Bryan Kelly's Early Lacrosse Journey

05:43 Family Influence and High School Lacrosse

07:34 Founding FCA Lacrosse and Its Impact

09:32 Vail Shootout Memories

11:18 Mindset and Mental Performance Mastery in Lacrosse

15:59 Bryan Kelly's U19 National Team Experience

21:47 Carolina's 1991 Championship Team

24:33 Conclusion and Teaser for Next Episode

NEW BOOK!
Inside the Recruiting Game: Insights From College Lacrosse Coaches
-Available on Amazon.com as an Ebook and paperback


Links to training videos:
Master The 5 Best Dodges From the Wing!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_7LDOcQQ6Q&t=88s

Blazing Shots... on the Run!
https://youtu.be/XiptPlM63oQ

Check us out...

On YouTube @jaymcmahonlax23
On Instagram @jaymcmahonlax23
On Facebook @: facebook.com/jmcmahonlax23. Page name: Jay McMahon Lacrosse

Jules Heningburg: https://thelaxlab.com/

Check out!... Coach Tintle's Lacrosse Barn:

https://g.co/kgs/eXedCXf

SuccessHotline with Dr. Rob Gilbert on Ironclad & Apple Podcasts

Brian Cain Daily Dominator on Apple Podcasts

Lacrosse Charities Mentioned in S2 E36:
https://www.4thefuturefoundation.org/

https://www.harlemlacrosse.org/

https://15forlife.org/

Transcript

0:00

It's time for Get the Lack Scoop, a podcast bringing you all the people and stuff you should know in the game of lacrosse. We take lack seriously, but ourselves, not so much. Join host Big Dog and Jaybird and the biggest names in the game brought to you by Jay McMahon lacrosse. That's JML skills, mindset, and lacks IQ training. Ron Doglish, the big dog, was a collegiate football and lacrosse player at Brown. He was also an assistant lacrosse coach and the executive director of the Sports Foundation. And Jay McMahon, the Jaybird, a three time All American midfielder at Brown. He was the captain of the U. S. Junior National Team and is the founder of JML. And Joining us in the studio, Steve Grisolfi, who's collegiate lacrosse career statistics equals one goal against Dartmouth brought to you by Jay McMahon lacrosse. That's JML skills, mindset, and lacks IQ training, helping the next generation of lacrosse players get to the next level Jay, we have, we have I, I'm, I'm not gonna give away the name of our guests, but this is kind of lacrosse family royalty here. Oh my God. I mean, big time. Jay, you're high. Good way to wrap up the college season. I can't imagine anyone who's more closely connected to college lacrosse and lacrosse in general than this guy. I mean, if you had a lacrosse footprint, this guy would be Bigfoot, lacrosse, family footprint, veritable Sasquatch. But let me get into this intro. Yeah. Our next guest is the head coach of the varsity lacrosse team at Calvert Hall College High School, a posties held since 1996. He's been named Coach of the Year six times in 1996, his inaugural season in 2003 when Calvert Hall won its first Maryland Interscholastic Athletic Association's, a conference, which is the MIAA Lacrosse Championship. The best. High school lacrosse in the country. Jay? Hey, it's up. It's up there. Unquestionably, it's one of the best I'm sure our guests will attest to in 2012, when he led the team to its second championship, as well as after winning conference titles in 2017 a year. He was also named the All USA Boys Coach of the Year by USA today in 2018 and in 2019. And that was an unprecedented three straight championships. And of course, this past season that just ended, he led the Cardinals to their sixth and I aa title the most by any program since the league's inception. He's a graduate of the University of North Carolina, where he was a political science major and a close defenseman for the to heels as a senior in 1991. He was an All American selection and a co-captain he helped the heels achieve an undefeated NCAA championship season. Please welcome to the show, the one, the only. Brian Kelly, thanks for having me, Jay. It's good to see you guys again. Rob. I'm looking forward to it. Awesome. Kelly. Great to see you, So Jay, shall we transition to a little bit more about our guest and maybe some questions for him? Let's do that Ron. Let's do that. So so Brian, transitioning to you and, and your lacrosse career. You know, one of the things that's been fun for Jay and I is, you know, bringing people on who we may know and know their career and know all the things they've done, but we don't actually know how it started for them, you know? So it's been kind of cool to ask people like, what are your first memories of lacrosse? And like, where did it start and who were the people who really influenced you when you first picked up a stick? Well it the, we never knew what lacrosse was growing up as a family. My brother John was the first one. I'm one of four boys. I'm the youngest, so my oldest is Brother Frank and my second brother's John. And then I had a brother named David and myself and my brother John was probably like 13 or 12 and he started to play lacrosse and we were also playing baseball and you know, we'd go watch him play and I'm like, ah, this is pretty cool. And then we all felt like this is so baseball's way too boring for us. And so we all started playing and I was probably 10 when I started playing lacrosse. And you know, I played for a ville rec council and I was very fortunate. I had an amazing coach and a guy named Bob Prader and he coached me from Midget a's all the way up to Junior a's this is what it was back in the day in the rec council side. And he just, and I had another guy named Wes Bacher who played at Hopkins. And just. They, they, I was playing midfield and they were like, Hey, look, you're a really good midi, but we need a defender. Will you play defense for us? And I was like, yeah, I'll do whatever you want me to do. And ended up playing defense and they would never let me throw checks. They taught me how to play fundamental defense at a young age. And they gave me that foundation of how to play. And so I, I, I look back to those young days of like, they were the key for of how, how I became, you know, a defender. They taught me how to play. That's awesome. That's really cool. And you know, as we mentioned a little bit in the opening there, that your, if your family had a lacrosse footprint, it would probably be Sasquatch with your, so it's four older brothers. Four, three older brothers. I'm one of four, three older brothers. Okay. That's what I thought. You're one of four. Right? And in fact, Frank was my coach at Cornell Lacrosse camp. Yeah. When I was like in eighth grade, probably 84, maybe, something like that. I think I was there 80, 45, something like that. I was at that camp too. Oh really? That is so funny. And I got a que I got a listener's question from Coach Andy Towers for you from that camp. Yeah, yeah. But that's at the end. But anyway, so there, you know, what was it like as you were getting older, you know, with, with all three brothers playing and you're getting into middle school, getting into high school, what kind of influence did they have on your high school play and on your, you know, your desire to pursue it into playing in college? I mean, they, they had a huge, you know, influence on me. You know, they would make me play goalie in the backyard and shoot on me. And then that's how I probably became a defender and made me a defender. Yeah, I think they, you know they we would just do one-on-ones and then just watching, you know, I would watch'em play, go to every game, and I always say Moore's caught than taught. And I just would just watch lacrosse and I think it really helped me being the youngest just to see. Yeah. At that time you didn't go up to the Cornell Games where my brother went, you know, but my other brother went to Washington College. I'd watch some of his games, and then my brother David and I played together at Calvert Hall. And you know, he was an attack man. I was a defender, so he, he definitely had an influence. Some one-on-ones in the backyard. We did two one ones, the Backyard Practice. It's a funny story. I, so he went to Carolina and I got recruited and it was down to Maryland and Carolina for me. And I loved Dick Ade. Like I love, he's great guy. Dick Ade. Yeah. And at the end of the day, I didn't wanna play against my brother, so I was like, I'm, I'm gonna go to Carolina. So that's the only reason I really chose Carolina, is I didn't wanna play against my brother. Well, then I had to play against him every day in practice, you know, and it's like you know, for fighting for Star, the playing time. And I, I didn't think about that, so it was like, but it was a great experience for me. So they, he helped me a ton and they helped me just as you know, you guys, when you go through it, it's more the mental of like, you know, highs and lows of, you know, high college across, you know, you just have to have people you can talk to and they, they help me immensely. Right. That's great. Good stuff. And then doing a little research came across the fact that your older brother, I think it was Frank, he founded FCA, the cross the travel, I. Lacrosse part? Well, he, he, he founded like the, the, the, the overall national program. So in 1992 Okay. Was the first time we all went out to Veil and we had that miracle on the mountain with the FCA team and we beat the green turtle. Yeah. And we were a bunch of rag tags. It was myself and like George Gly. We were the only two, like the, and Steve pta, that's it. We only had three defenders and then we had some high school kid, and then we had my brother, Frank and some other guys. But I think we were the only team that wasn't out there overly partying. And we played the gates and and pet all those guys on the green turtle. We were out there too. Yeah. And we lost in the championship to Mount Washington. And, but that was the first experience of FCA. Really? That's so fun. And it just. Came and started growing. And then we did these little programs. And then, believe it or not, my wife and I started the cl, the local club in Maryland, FCA. Okay. Because we would take all of our kids to veil on these national teams and they would get this experience, but then they would come back home and they would kind of like the mountaintop experience of impact, just kind of with withered away. And so we came up with this idea of starting the club and just to try to really have an impact on kids and being in high school, you just saw like. These kids need it more than just lacrosse.'cause sometimes lacrosse is your whole identity and you're, it's like your God, it's just not a good God, you know? And then, right. These guys through FCA, it, it, it gives you the foundations of, of Judeo-Christian values and how to play one way to play drug and alcohol free. You know, the importance of, you know, building your house on a firm foundation and, and so forth. And so we helped start it from 2012 to 14 and then I got out of running it and then I just been coaching my son's teams, so I gotcha. That's cool. Good deal. Good background. Just sounds like Brian's Vail experience was slightly different than ours. Yes. It was good for him. Oh my god. We could have used a little, little detox. Yeah. We could have used the little stewardship. A little come to Jesus would've been nice too. Oh my. You'll get it. I got it later in life. I always, I always say though, that tournament was. The most fun, no doubt. And some of the best lacrosse I ever got to play, it was no doubt. I mean, those teams were just stacked right at McCabe Kisser. It was unreal. It was you know, it was, you know, you had MAB paints, you had like, you know, you had team Colorado was great to, to Green Turtle, to, you know, Mount Washington. It was, it was just so much fun. Thanks for, thanks for mentioning the New York Athletic Club team and the New York Athletic Club. Yeah, yeah. Uhhuh Uhhuh. They usually lost in the first round though. No, I'm just kidding. They, they were, I think we made the semis now. You guys were always great. It was, you know, it was, it was a battle of who can last the longest, you know? Right, right. Exactly. Guys. It was, it was just, it was. So different. And, and now I'm going out with my seventh grade son's team to Vail. Oh man, that's awesome. So they still have the Veil Shootout. That is awesome. Awesome. And it's, it's just for, you know, kids more than it is for the adults, but that they still have adult and they still do it. So we, every year we take a team out to Vail, so it's still That's great, great Experie. It's such a beautiful setting in the, in the summer, you know, I've been there in the winter, but God, it's beautiful in the summer too. I love it in the summer. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Well, in all seriousness, Brian, it's just another aspect of the way you've led young people in the game and use the game of lacrosse to teach a lot more than than stick skills and extra man. How about if we, how about if we transition to. J m l and let's do that. We'll get into a little bit of the mindset. We'll do a mindset minute here. Building your house on a strong foundation is absolutely essential. Now, as we broadcast, we are under a separation of church and show clause. That is our podcast constitution. So the foundation of our training for young boys and girls is their mindset. Which is based on the sports performance work of Brian Kane and his mentor, Dr. Rob Gilbert, after having the benefit of knowing how this podcast interview ends, not as prophecy, but just by the fact that we already recorded the whole thing. I'd like to expand a bit on a great point Coach Kelly makes at the very end of the interview. Coach Kelly described as a game situation from back in 2012 in which his Calvert Hall team was winning 12 to seven in the fourth quarter. Soon their opponent scored two quick goals and from there on out he washes his team completely seized up and was unable to execute both on the defensive side of the field and on the offensive end and come to think of it, he said they were unable to function in the middle of the field as well. Coach Kelly describes his opponent simply as the team from Conshohocken. That's Conshohocken, Pennsylvania. A good team, but not great Coach Kelly's team. That year was great. He had five players on that team that were not only multi-year D one, all Americans, but these five players would all go on to have great careers in the PLL players we've all heard of, such as Ryan Brown and Garrett Pel to name a few, and he said he was really angry at his players after they completely imploded and lost in overtime. But instead of giving them a good scolding and then going on with the rest of the season, he decided to change tack. At practice the next day, coach K asked them to write down what it was they were thinking about as their team was spiraling down into defeat. And you know what some of the most common responses were, for one. Many said all they could think about was the fear of losing. Next up, was what their parents were going to say to them once they got home. And the most common response. Was what is inside lacrosse going to say? Because this team was nationally ranked and they knew this epic upset would be headline news, they all were focused on the outcome, in this case, a very negative outcome, and there was no focus on the process. That is what it would take to regain control of the game. Coach Kelly said this experience has revolutionized his coaching technique as he immersed himself into the rich information available to all coaches. On the topic of sports performance, one of the elements Coach Kelly teaches his players is one of Brian Kane's primary teachings, which is. Focus on the process, not the outcome. Now, what does that mean? That means focusing on the steps and actions required to achieve a goal rather than fixating on the end result. You might ask why? Well, that's because when we are competing, if our mind is focused on the end result, we get into a poor performance state of mind. A state of mind that says, this is it. It's do or die, it's now or never. These thoughts cause players to tighten up and to try to do too much all at once, which leads to poor performance. Instead, if the focus is on the next play in front of them, such as get the next ground ball, get the next clear run, the offense that we're familiar with. And that we know works. A team is more likely to methodically create an advantage and then be in a better state of mind to execute when a good opportunity presents itself. Players and coaches who have communicated about the importance of their mindset in practice, know what frame of mind will get them out of a jam, and which mindset will only make a problem such as tightening up when your opponent is going on a run worse. If we let go of the outcome and focus on controlling what we can control, which is the next play out in front of us, then our chances of being successful are much higher than they would be with any other state of mind. To learn more about Brian Kane and his 10 Pillars of Mental Performance Mastery, also known as MPM, check him out@briankane.com or message me about his teaching concepts as I took his MPM course for coaches. And love teaching his 10 pillars of mental performance to athletes. Now we will return to our interview and you will find that interview in progress. So now we get to probably the. Most difficult part of the show for me. Brian, I, I'm not sure if you're aware, but the only reason Jay had you on this show is so he gets to yet again talk about his membership on the U 19. Of course national team, this is the Warped, which Jay finds away mine virus that Ron has. He's, we've had about 60 episodes and we think there's one where Jay hasn't somehow found a way to weave in. So it's become a joke 30 years ago. I mentioned it one time, and dog like blew his gasket. I was like, you know, we had on, you know, like. I can't, I can't remember who it was, but Doug Care. I'm like, dogs. I can't believe you're mentioning that, Doug. I'm gonna mention it. So then after that I was like, every time I'm gonna mention it. So what isn't the reason, Ryan, Jay, lemme ask my question for God's sake. Well, don't make our guest think that that's why he's here. You moron. That's a good reason to be here. It was a great, in all seriousness that you know, that was quite, read the question as it's written. Please. I'm not reading your damn question. Jay. When you, when you think about the guys that were on that team, first of all. Knowing them, some of many of them myself. What a group of characters. And then but then also character on the lacrosse field. Those were a group of players who came to define the next four years of college across and beyond. Yeah. And so tell, just tell us about what that, how did you get to be on that? Like what was your journey to get onto that team and then talk about some of your highlights of that experience. The Calvert Hall contingent I was, was strong. It was great. We all had a tryout at the Hill School in Pennsylvania and. You know the guys who were coaching, it was coach Tiering was one, coach Shriver and oh. Shriver from Bo, you know, BK initiated the contact. Yeah. And and guy Whitten, coach Guy Whitten. Yeah. And so you know, there, there were so many great players. Doc, doc Doty from Garden City. Can't forget. Doc Doherty was, yeah. He coached the defense and talk about a character was, he was awesome. I mean, we had a blast. I mean, it was like we were fortunate enough to make it, they could have picked a lot of other kids and there was just so many good players out there. It was the first time they ever did it. You know, and just being a part of it, you're still friends with these guys for life. I think about. You know, I'm watching I have a son at Georgetown and I'm watching Georgetown Villanova and Keith Moe's sons playing for Villanova, you know, and I'm like, oh man, it's Mike. And we all talking, and, you know, I see Towers that was on the team, and Mark NuGen and Chris Colbeck and Michael Heifer, and were all Caler Hall guys with me that were on it. And there was like four Garden City guys on it. You know, so it was just it, it, it, it was just a great experience for me personally. And just, and it was great lacrosse. You know, we had so many, you know, from Pat McCabe to Matt Panetta, you know, obviously Jay Mickey Vodi. We just, Jerry de Lorenzo the greatest character of all times in the goal of being, oh, Jerry d. I mean, it was, we had a lot of fun. We probably had too much fun, you know? And then we had to buckle down. Like we, we played Team Canada and we were like, it was, I think we won by two or maybe one. And then we were like, all right, we got it. Let's go. And then we, we, we rolled them the next time we played'em. So it was good, right? But we, we had a blast. It was great. And then, you know, Brian, talk about how that, it's gotta be such obviously an awesome experience. You're representing your country and, and traveling to Australia, but then as a player, right, the leg up that gives you heading to Carolina. I mean, you gotta go there. Not as the typical you know, college freshman. Or was that between your freshman and sophomore year? It was, we, we had our freshman year after freshman year, Carolina. It was right after our freshman year. Oh, got it, got it. So, lemme reframe my question'cause that doesn't make any sense. Go ahead, restart Ron. Alright, we'll that out. I'll restart. So, so I'll, I'll, I'll put it this way. Jack. So, so Brian, then you, you're, you know, tell me about what it's like playing on that junior national team, which is obviously a great experience. You're representing your country, but also as a player, you're playing with the best players in the country every day. You're covering some of the best offensive players every day in the country in practice. And what's it like going back to Carolina in your sophomore year? What did that do for you as a player? Going back to chapel Hill? I mean, it, it, it was nothing but positives that it helped me a ton because you got to, you experienced some of the best players every day in practice and, you know iron sharpens iron and I think it gave me definitely a leg up going in when you're, you're competing against the, the, the, the top players in your class. And, and practice. And then as we play together, you know, you pick up things, you learn a lot, you know you know, playing with the shady and then Lebo and the guys like that, two guys at UUVA that were great players and just with Pat McCabe and, you know, you just really, you, you, you took things from each player of what they did and just like tried to emulate it to your game. So it was nothing but a positive experience. I definitely think it helped me become a better, a better player. And it was also learning from Doc Daughty a different type of style defense that I was used to. So I really took a, a lot and learned a lot from him from a defensive perspective. So it was there, there, there was not one negative experience I could say about that trip. Speaking of no guardrails that so many of our listeners describe the college lacrosse recruiting trail. So we've responded by putting excerpts of our 10 best interviews with legendary coaches, such as bill Tierney, Lars, Tiffany and Andy towers. Into a book that you can access on Kindle, it is available on Amazon, under the title inside the recruiting game insights from college lacrosse coaches. So with that, you will see the description of these items also in the show notes. So what was, flash forward to your senior year, what were, what were the difference makers for that undefeated 91 national championship team at Carolina that you were a part of? What really defined that group? I, I would say was a hell of a team. Yeah. It, it was a team like I would say the, the 88 team that I was on as a freshman. That was the most talented team I. Played with it. Carolina unfortunately ran into sch smaller Cornell, and he, he just was unreal. Kind of like your experience against Marilyn run into a hot goalie and, and that happens, you know, and Yeah. Mm-hmm. They, they, they, we went home early and, you know, that year I felt like we had the talent to win it, but in 91. Again, it was kind of like Marilyn this year with like, not a lot of stars going in. No one really thought we were great. But Dennis Goldstein, you know Timmy's younger brother, who's a senior with me that year he was the offensive player of the year. He was just, Dennis was one of those guys that was really good at everything. He wasn't like great at anything. He just did. He could score, he could feed. He just was tough. And he did that and then super, super solid, you know, maintained possession, like, you know, everything like a master. Like if you watched him play, you'd be like, not popping off the screen, but you would look at the statue. He's like, God, he was three and two. He was four and three. You know, he was that guy and he just could end a game. And then defensively we had Graham Harden. He was my roommate and he was great. God rest his soul. He was unbelievable. He covered the number one and he was the defensive player of the year, and he was outstanding. And then, you know, midfield, it was super, super intense too. You know, he coached us, was that our freshman year at Brown? It was his older brother. His older brother. Yeah. That was boy. Oh, that's right. That was Boyo. Right, right, right, right, right. Yes. Graham was out here. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Graham had great hands. He played hockey and you know, now you can't take the ball away, but Graham could take the ball away and I, I made a living off of Graham'cause he would get the ball on the ground and I was good at it, right up ball up. So, you know, I led the team in ground balls and that was completely because of ground. Oh man. He just would just get the ball on the ground and I would get it. Yeah. And then but I think what set us apart was. We rode really well. We had a great riding team. We would score three or four goals off of rides. We played five attack men. You know, we played three midfield units. Fortunately, I liked that we only played three download defenders, but, you know, because I didn't like to rotate out, but Right. You know, we also rotate, and that could be demoralizing when you're scoring goals off a ride, you know, it's one thing, you know, you don't clear it. It's another thing that they get an immediate goal. You know what I mean? I remember that from that team. They were, it's like a, just a million people playing, you know, like you said, you're playing three midfield, you're playing five attack men. Yes. And it was just like a swarm. I mean, it was like, forget about it. Yeah. And Coach k Carmen, he had one rule, like.... he had one rule, one rule for Coach k Carmen, a man with an absolutely legendary persona as a major stickler to find out what that one all-encompassing rule was. Tune in next week. Until we meet again. Here's to hoping you find the twine. We're signing off here at the get the lax scoop. Thanks again so much. We will see you the next time.